Kids, homesickness, dreams about the Daily Mail.

I’m finding teaching tiring, but full of delight.

I had nine classes on Thursday, an entire day’s worth of teaching. If each class has 25 pupils that’s already over 200 little faces. All the Thibalts, Thulis, Blanches, Audes, Octaves and Cesars blend into one another very quickly, with their clean hair and Ralph Lauren polo shirts. (Counting myself lucky compared to others with kids who throw chairs, have mullets, walk out etc.) Mainly I did basic vocabulary, introductions, pronunciation etc, unless I was compelled to fill more time in which case I pulled out my Bonfire Night stuff and pitched it to the class’s level. My CM2’s were very keen on burning effigies, and a division soon emerged between the ones who wanted to burn Sarko and those who were eager to see Chirac go up in flames. Just as I was idly beginning to wonder whether I was getting myself sacked, à la that woman with the teddy bear called Mohammed, the teacher stepped in with a well-timed ‘on s’arrête là!’

I was asked in the staff room if I was training to become a teacher, and when I said no and explained my circumstances, I was told, “Don’t teach. Don’t do it. If you teach, you can’t do anything else, that’s what they think. They look at your CV and if it says you are a teacher they think you aren’t capable of doing anything else.” This is more true in France than England, I think, but still. A warning.
I am over the one-month hump now and beginning to settle in properly at last. There is a point almost exactly a month after you arrive in a different country when it ceases to be the longest holiday you’ve ever had and the cold hard reality starts to sink in. I think everyone’s been struggling a little. Lately, I’ve been missing: fireworks and the fairground on the Downs, jacket potatoes, real mugs of tea, Bristol accents, the arrival of winter Starbucks specials, pumpkin-carving, the Times 2 crossword and a cappuccino, Neighbours, the new term’s library books, Paperchase, lemsip, and whatever my mum does to washing which makes it smell better than I can ever hope to achieve. A pint that doesn’t cost €5 and a soft fresh loaf of bread that doesn’t go stale within eight hours. I’m glad I didn’t go home for Toussaint, though, as if I had, I’d have to acclimatize again when I came back, whereas now I’ve almost let go of my irrational England nostalgia.

Yesterday, I saw two very fashionable young men collide in the street. One was carrying a trombone, and the other was clutching a huge grey furry cat. There was a slight struggle, during which I almost expected them to swap. Classic Paris moments which I wouldn’t give up for anything.

I’ll finish with a dream I had this week, even though, as Adrian Mole’s mother says, “there’s only one thing more boring than listening to other people’s dreams, and that’s listening to other people’s problems.” It is too good not to though.
I was having a casual conversation with someone, it went like this:

Me: “Look, have you seen this article in the Mail today, it says the technology to make human resurrection a reality could be a little as 40 years away. They’ve done it on mice.”
Friend: “Really? No, I haven’t.”
Me: “There’s a poll: which five people would Daily Mail readers most like to bring back from the dead?”
Friend: “Princess Diana?”
Me: “Bingo, top spot. Well done. Any more?”
Friend: “Um, no, Jade Goody?”
Me: “No! Wrong! You seriously can’t get the other four?”

…at which point I became so frustrated I woke myself up, and couldn’t sleep again until I had guessed the others: Elvis, Winston Churchill, Henry VIII, and someone like Scott of the Antarctic. I later did some online research to see if I had correctly guessed the imaginary poll and found I had forgotten Bobby Moore.

What's happening this week:

France joins in the celebrations on the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall. 7pm Mon 9th Nov, Place de la Concorde Be aware of chaotic traffic circulation and probably delays and manifs galore.

Chocolate event at Galeries Lafayette. Free tasting, demonstrations, decadence etc. 5pm-9pm Thurs 12th Nov, Galeries Lafayette